When Sinners Sin

Study for January 25

When Sinners Sin.

“What happens if I have already messed up?” This is the question that is on the minds of many of our teenagers. A recent article in Lifeway’s Living With Teenagers brought up the question, “So what happens when true love doesn’t wait?” The article references a study that shows that today almost 50% of teens have admitted to having premarital sex. In speaking with teens, parents, and teachers I am almost sure that this number is higher. And when you throw in those who are addicted to pornography the number jumps enormously. So what are we to tell them? How are we to respond?

KEY VERSES: 1 John 1:9, Colossians 2:13-14.

Colossians 3:6 tells us that “On account of these the wrath of God is coming.” For anyone married or wanting to get married an understanding and fear of the wrath of God is needed. God is wrathful against sinners. He will punish sin. So what does that mean for us? Lets look at God’s wrath and its removal from Col. 2:13-14:

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

God took the record of all your sins that made you deserve His wrath (sins are offenses against God that bring His judgment) and instead of making you pay the price for your sins in Hell, God placed them on the hand of Jesus and drove a spike through them into the cross. “He canceled the record of our debt…nailing it to the cross.”
Whose sins were nailed to the cross? The sins of those who trust in Christ alone. Who received the punishment for my sin? Jesus, on the cross. We are forgiven because of Christ. Not only is he our forgiveness he is also our righteousness. Because we cannot provide our own righteousness God provided his son to be our righteousness. So, in Christ, we are counted righteous.

Two main things we need to see about ourselves if we have put our faith in Christ.
1. The punishment for our sins was placed on Jesus Christ on the cross.
2. The righteousness of Christ was placed on us.

When we receive Christ all of His punishment and all of His righteousness is counted as ours. Great news!

So as believers how do we deal with sin that we have committed? “What if I have already messed up sexually?”

1. Acknowledge your guilt. Sin is rebellion against God. And though sin is first against God it may also be against others as well.
2. Don’t blame anyone but yourself. Circumstances didn’t make you do it, Satan didn’t make you do it, parents didn’t make you do it, peer pressure didn’t make you do it. You did it. Own it.
3. Confess. As a believer we still seek forgiveness from God as our Father. 1 John 1:7-10. We also need to confess to anyone else we have hurt and seek to reconcile with them. James 5:16.
4. Receive God’s forgiveness. Believe the promise of 1 John 1:9.

After these things are done it is important to start building defenses against sin (having clear steps on how you will fight this sin) and to prayerfully begin on a new course of action that will honor and please God. This includes evaluating how you handle dating relationships (setting boundaries for physical and emotional aspects of dating).

I am reminded of a quote from one of my favorite pastors concerning dealing with past sexual sin. John Piper says,

“If it genuinely lies within you, by the grace of God, to throw yourself on the mercy of God for forgiveness then He will free you from the guilt of the past. He will make a new, clean sexual life possible within marriage.”

Respond

1. How does sin affect your relationship with God? with others?
2. How do you handle feeling guilty?
3. What is the biblical way to handle guilt? Is this something you have done or are doing?
4. Read 1 John 1:9 and Colossians 2:13-14. How do these verses speak about how we should handle our sin?

Sunday January 11

Hey Connect Leaders,

I hope you are having a good week. This Sunday will be a little different than normal.

This Sunday we will be doing a review of the past semester. I will be teaching this Sunday for about 10-15 minutes (giving a big picture look at everything we
have covered). Then I will split you up into your groups for yall to discuss whatever you want. For example, I told my junior and senior guys that I would let them
ask whatever questions they might have over any of the God, Marriage, and Family material that we have covered.

Because some groups will inevitably not open up and talk I will be posting a list of discussion questions on the blog later today.
I am attaching a list of the things we have covered just in case you want to take a look at some of the topics the students might have questions about.
More than anything this Sunday enjoy the students. Ask them about their lives. Ask them if they have learned anything from this study. Go week by week and
ask them if they have any questions about what we have talked about.

Let them know you care about them and are always there to answer any questions they might have about any of this stuff. Remember that many of
our students will not remember much of what we teach them but they will remember you. You have an impact on them. God is using you.

On Sunday January 18 we will do a study that will address those who have already sinned in many of these areas and we will teach on repentance, forgiveness, grace and how to
fight for purity now.
On Sunday January 25 we will do a Celebration of the "God, Marriage, and Family" study where we will give the students a chance to tell everyone what they learned.

If yall have any questions please email me at jeason@fbcmw.org or call (806)283-2659.

Justin

Study for January 4 - Homosexuality

God, Marriage and the Family
Homosexuality
In the last few months we have been studying God’s plan for marriage and the family. Hopefully our students have been seeing God’s design and things are a little more clear. One of the most serious distortions of this plan is homosexuality. This is one of many sexual sins that occurred in the Old and New Testament and continues today. It is a hotly debated issue and one that should be thought about very carefully. Questions like “Do you believe God condemns homosexuals?” or “Do you believe homosexuality is a sin?” are hot topics.
The question that we should really be asking is “what is marriage?” This is a question we have been asking all year and hopefully it is one you can answer. Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman. We see this in Genesis 2. Sexuality is intended to be within a marriage. Marriage is a picture of the gospel, a picture of unity. All sex outside of a heterosexual marriage is sin. This includes fornication (sex before marriage) adultery, and pornography.
Though the sin of homosexuality is no greater than sex before marriage or any other sexual sin we will take a special look at homosexuality because of its tendency to be justified by many who claim to be believers.

Homosexuality when compared to the biblical pattern of marriage and intimacy falls way short in several ways (This discussion can be found in “God, Marriage, and the Family” by Andreas Kostenberger).

First – It is at odds with God’s design for marriage at a foundational level. God’s design is man and woman. Genesis 2.

Second – It is at odds with the complementary nature of marriage found in the bible. Marriage is designed so that the husband and wife are equal but with different roles. Roles that complement each other. Same-sex partners cannot participate in this aspect of the design.

Third – It is at odds with its duty to procreate. One of the purposes of marriage is procreation. Having kids. This is undeniably part of God’s plan within marriage as seen in Genesis 1:28.

Three main sections of Scripture deal with homosexuality explicitly – Gen. 18-19, Lev. 18 and 20 and Paul deals with it in his letters to the Romans, Corinthians and Timothy. Study Romans 1:18-28, 1 Cor. 6:9-10, 1 Tim. 1:9-10.

In reading all this one will find Scripture to be consistent. Homosexuality is sin and an offense to God. But just like adultery and “fooling around with your girlfriend or boyfriend, this is a sin that can be forgiven. Homosexuality is not the unpardonable sin. Anyone struggling with this sin should repent and seek forgiveness in Jesus Christ.

1. In your opinion, is homosexuality a sin? Why or why not?

2. Is the sin of homosexuality worse than a girlfriend and boyfriend sleeping together before marriage? Why or why not?
3. How should you respond to a friend struggling with homosexuality?

4. How is homosexuality at odds or against God’s design for marriage?

I realize there is much more that we could teach concerning homosexuality. Feel free to go as deep as you want. I have given you just the basic teaching. If the students have any tough questions let me or Jason know.

Connect Study on Dating

Hey Everyone, Here is the study for this coming week. Joshua Smith wrote the study and will be teaching it as well. If you have any questions his contact info is at the end of the study. Great job, Joshua!

Dating 101

This subject can become quite ambiguous at times, but we must remember that even though the Bible does not specifically endorse dating, we can certainly draw principles from God’s word because it is very clear on marriage, chastity, purity, the condition of the heart, and attraction to the opposite gender.

What is Dating?
Dating is a relatively new idea. It has only become popular in our culture in approximately the past 100 years. It certainly was not the way that the Bible conducted “pre-marriage”. We will go into if that is a good or bad thing later on in the study.
Book definition of dating: an appointment, especially with a person of the opposite sex; a person of the opposite sex with whom an appointment is made “to date” up to the present.
Pop culture definition: hanging out with a girl or guy with the intent either initially or eventually leading to a romantic relationship between them. Most often it is viewed as an activity as opposed to a commitment. One is to experiment with the opposite gender to see what he or she likes and to become exposed to as many people as possible to ensure that one knows what he or she wants. Only the immediate future is in view.
A biblical view of dating: A relationship between a guy and a girl that initially begins as a friendship. As the boy and girl seek God first above all things (Matt. 6:33), He will either confirm or deny the relationship as in His will. If it is, the relationship moves on to a non-physical, romantic relationship. With the end of dating being marriage between the two partners. The couple seeks a dating partner that, at the present time, they can envision marrying. Each of them seeks a partner that is compatible with him or her based on biblical principles (which we will discuss later).

Should Christians date?
The Bible gives us freedom on certain things to allow us to apply cultural aspects to our walk with Christ. For example, nowhere in the Bible does it advocate that a church building must have a steeple on top of the building. Yet, the majority of church buildings in the European affected Christianity have steeples. Now, if one were to go to a more remote location, such as in central Africa, and look at a Christian church building it is usually just solid concrete. Four walls of concrete surround a dirt floor with a vegetation roof. Are our African brothers and sisters wrong because they do this? Absolutely not! The Bible does not give us any explicit or implicit principles on which to build a church building, all we have to do is make sure we follow implicit and explicit principles in the architecture of the building.
The same thought process must be applied to dating. Dating is a cultural invention; it does not come from the Bible as noted above. But, that does not mean that we are not allowed to do it. We may participate in it if we follow the explicit and implicit principles of scripture and the view of marriage. Christians are to follow these principles because after all, we live for the next world, not this one (Heb. 11:13-16).

Purpose of Christian dating:
Many kids in our student ministry have a distorted view of what dating should be like. Many who are dating should not be because they are not emotionally or spiritually ready. Some who are ready to date are fearful to do so because they believe it is unbiblical. I want us to make absolutely clear that dating is a wonderful thing to do, IF one follows biblical principles and is prepared to do so.
As opposed to what popular culture says dating is, dating for the believer in Christ is for the sole purpose of finding a partner for marriage. Why?
1. God designed us and even before The Fall, to be with the opposite gender: Ge. 2:18
a. And it is a good thing to be married: Pr. 18:22
2. God does not take playing with others heart lightly (like popular culture encourages to do in a dating relationship) Pro. 4:23. Dating is not an activity it is a commitment, although not a binding one.

Who should Christians date?
This is something that scripture is very clear:
Believers together with un-believers; I don’t think so. Believers should not marry (and therefore not date, since the purpose of dating is finding a spouse) other believers. Notice this passage:
2 Corinthians 6:11-17 Our mouth has spoken freely to you, O Corinthians, our heart is opened wide. 12 You are not restrained by us, but you are restrained in your own affections. 13 Now in a like exchange-- I speak as to children-- open wide to us also.

Paul is indicating that even though some of the Corinthians had done wrong to them, he still loved them or had their “heart opened wide”. Likewise Paul urges his fellow believers to listen to the important command that Paul was about to pronounce to them.

14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? 16 Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, "I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE. 17 "Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE," says the Lord. "AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN; And I will welcome you.

Notice how Paul contrasts believers and non-believers as, “light and darkness”. If one asks why this should be, here is a proper response; “Believers in the Lord Jesus Christ have given their lives to him. No longer are they Lord of their lives, but Christ is Lord of their lives. No longer does the believer do what he or she wants to do, but what Christ wants. In contrast, the un-believer does not follow Christ or what Christ wants for their life. And in marriage, you become one flesh, guiding your marriage toward one end. If not, then it will be dysfunctional, lonely, and/or selfish. How can the light desire and move toward the ultimate Light if the partner who has become one flesh with them is desiring and moving towards more darkness? Paul puts it simply, “Nothing in common!”

Missionary Dating:
The idea that a believer can date an un-believer in order that they can draw them to Christ in hope that the un-believer will become a Christian.
Too many times have I had students (and have thought it myself a time or two) this very thing. Here is a simple response.
Remember the purpose of dating, is to eventually find a spouse for marriage. IT IS NOT to bring someone to Christ. For they should already be in Christ, for what does light have in common with the darkness? This does not mean that Christians should never share the gospel with people of the opposite gender. What it does mean is that Christians are playing with the un-believers heart (which God does not take likely; Pr. 4:23) because:
Believers intent:
Share Jesus, draw closer to them relationally, then pursue them deeper once they are a believer
Un-believers intent:
Pursue them in a deep relationship.

It is almost deceit and unfair to the un-believer because of the different motives behind each of their hearts. Plus, if the believer is trying to pull the unsaved to the light, the unbeliever will pull them toward darkness.
A disclaimer: I realize that missionary dating is not impossible. In fact, I know a few people who dated an un-believer (although they weren’t supposed to for what does light have in common with darkness?) and the un-believer came to Christ. BUT, this is an example of how God can use evil for good (Ge 50:20). For example, since God used the evil acts of the men who crucified Christ to be a part of the action that would save sinners; does this justify someone who wants to go and kill someone else? Absolutely not! We are to strive to walk in a manner that Jesus walked (1 Jn 5:6), using good for good. Not evil for good, that is impossible! (Except, of course for God.)

“But they said they were believers!”
Just because someone states with their mouth that they are believers, does not make them a believer. One must be diligent and look for fruits of the Spirit, before even considering dating. Fruits of the Spirit or evidence that a person has been saved:
1. Repentance from sin: Ps. 32:5; 2Co 7:10; 1Jn 1:8-10
2. Repeatedly praying: Lk 18:1; Col 4:2; 1Ti 2:1-4
3. Separation from the World: 1Jn 2:14-15; Jas 4:4-5
4. Obedient Living: 1Jn 2:3-5; Jn 15:14;
5. Desire for God’s Word: 1Pe 2:1-3
A disclaimer: I completely realize that once someone becomes a believer, they will not immediately display all these characteristics. For God gradually breaks our sinful flesh to sanctify us to Christ’s image. So, we should also consider if they are a mature believer; because to be “equally yoked” does not only mean to be together with believers, but believers in the same spiritual maturity as you. To most of us, that means that we need to pursue Jesus even more.

How should Christians date?

Fellowship: the unity and boding that exists between Christians by virtue of the fact that they share together in the grace of the gospel. Gathering together for a common pursue to either, worship, read/study the Scriptures, or enjoy each others company. This (as described below) is the foundation (that too many kids miss) that dating is supposed to launch off from.
A disclaimer: Now, fellowship is NOT for the purpose of dating. But Christian dating will naturally come out of friendship and fellowship. For example, how will one know if a claimed Christian is mature in their walk unless they speak with them about things of the Scriptures? Some of this “investigation” comes naturally from fellowship.

Believers are in a family, a body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:12). We are to first and foremost see each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. This is going to be a radical difference for most of the kids in our student ministry. Thinking of the opposite gender as always a potential date is very unhealthy. Doing this destroys the image of the family and replaces it with an overly emphasized romantic perception. This is something that we really need to emphasize with our students.
Influences from pop-culture have clouded our view. Notice that television and movies usually emphasize the opposite sex in a solely romantic or erotic fashion. When the Bible speaks of believers, it speaks of us as a family (reference to us as children Ro 8:16-17a). Seeing your spiritual brother or sister in a solely romantic and erotic way is not only unbiblical but it is, well, disgusting!
A disclaimer: this does not however mean that seeing other believers as potential date partners is a completely bad thing. God made man for woman and woman for man. What needs to be emphasized is that seeing the opposite gender as family is primary while dating them is secondary. They are first a brother/sister, second a date.

Friendship: As noted in the biblical definition of dating, it is to start off as friendship. We are in one in Christ and have been made brothers and sisters in Christ. We first must view a potential dating partner in this way:
1. Bros and Sisses: Ro. 8:15-17; 1Co 12:12-13;
2. We need to fellowship (defined above): Heb. 10:23-25;

Parents: This is going to be a very un-popular topic with students. Parents need to be involved with their children’s friendship and date life. Some of the fault can very possibly be the parents disinterest in the child’s affairs. But, some of it is the child’s secrecy of their affairs toward their parents. Mom and Dad are so much more wiser than the students on matters like this. This is what we need to emphasize, opening up and asking questions to their parents about dating and the opposite gender.
A disclaimer: some of our students do not have Christian parents (like myself). So asking their parents could give them wrong advice on what the purpose of dating is, how one is to date, etc. In these cases, we are to make ourselves available to the student so that they may ask questions. I have a gentleman that I regularly ask about issues relating to this and similar topics. These kids need to have the same if their parents are not believers.

Environment: too often the “dating environment” is completely secluded and sometimes romantic. Kids are missing the point. Seclusion should at least not come until the relationship is very mature and even then the couple will have to decide for themselves boundaries. The reason for this is so much temptation (either of the mind or the body) comes in seclusion. One may put the most godly girl and boy in a room together and if they are alone and are sinners, something may happen! It is important to emphasize to the students that dating is not a constant romantic partnership.
Now, please understand, I do not think that Christians should have their first date at a family gathering with people all around. That is so entirely awkward most of the time. But, possibly at a public place like a coffee shop. Or ice skating, I do not know, you pick. The point is: do not seclude yourself!

What more? This is really the time that you may, as the group leader, use as a base to further discuss how a Christian should date. As Justin and I have discussed, there are some many things we could stress at this point that it would take up fifteen pages! Also, there are different ways to date: prearranged marriages, courting, Christian dating, and secular dating, of which some have been discussed earlier.
If you have any questions please talk to Justin or I on Sunday morning or call me or e-mail me. All you have more wisdom than me anyway, I only a little boy! But, if I can help I would be glad to.

1. How should Christians view the opposite gender first? What is second? Why?
2. Who should Christians date? Why?
- What if someone “says” they are a Christian, are we go for launch then?
3. Why should we avoid seclusive environments when we are dating?
4. Is missionary dating (and all concepts that relate) okay to do? I mean it is evangelism, correct?

Thanks guys (and girls),

Joshua

E-mail: joshuatylersmith87@gmail.com
Cell: 502-921-3350

Stewardship - Week 17

It is very important as Christians to have a proper view of money and possessions and manage then Biblically. Stewardship is more than just money but it does include it. What is stewardship? Stewardship is Managing, maintaining, and making the most of all God has entrusted to us for the furtherance of His interests, as we look forward to future reward. Money is neither righteous nor evil – it is morally neutral. However, it is an accurate measure of our morality. Money itself does not corrupt. It is never the essential problem. Money is simply an indicator of the real problem which is the sinful heart. How you handle money reveals much about what you love. Besides money there are many things that we have been given that we are stewards over.

Scripture passages to study: Psalm 24:1, 1 Cor. 4:2, 3:13-14, 1 Tim. 5:8, Pro. 27:23-24.

As we see from Psalm 24, God owns all things. Anything that we have has been given to us. God says that every steward should be faithful in handling of what he has been given.

We see from 1 Cor. 3 that faithfulness will be rewarded. God says that He will reward faithfulness when we reach heaven and these rewards will be determined by our level of faithfulness to His commands.

So the question becomes: What has God entrusted to YOU? Wife, Children, family, brothers and sisters in Christ, money, possessions, time, talents and abilities, physical body, spiritual gifts, ministry. God has given you these things to enjoy, but only as you use them to accomplish his purposes. All these things are God’s on loan to you. They have been given to you primarily for God’s glory and for the good of others, not self.

Name some things that can hold us back from being faithful stewards of what God has given us?
Pride – not being dependent on God’s help, not teachable, “I’m ok, I don’t need help.”
Selfishness – caring more about your own desires than about God’s desires and others’ needs. I
dolatry – Sacrificing faithfulness to get what you want at all costs.
Laziness – not working at faithfulness, only taking the easy road, procrastination, sleep too much.
Irresponsibility – not dependable, going back on your word, wasteful, being late, bad priorities.
Man pleasing – keeping the peace at all costs, not doing what God wants because someone else might not like it.

What are some steps we can take towards faithfulness? Ephesians 4:24
We must first begin to take stewardship as seriously as God does. We must not follow our selfish desires but battle them.
Repentance – Find an area that God has entrusted to you and search God’s word in this area.
Study – Study and meditate daily on Scripture that pertains to this area. Ps. 119:9-11.
Prayer – Pray daily that God will help you change in this area. Ps. 12:1-2
Renewing your mind – Determine what thinking you need to change. Rom. 12:2.
Planning – Make a specific plan as to how you are going to follow God’s principles.
Accountability – Obtain accountability from a brother or sister in Christ if you are not improving.

The key to handling all these issues is trusting God. Especially concerning money if we see a need we should pray and do all we can to provide for our families, being wise with money and trusting God for the future. We need to learn to be content, thankful and generous with what we have. Remember when giving to God and to others the question is not “How much should I give?” but “How much should I keep?”

Role of Children (December 14)

(Disclaimer: The Bible never uses the word teenager to describe offspring ranging in ages of 13-18. So when we speak of children we will be speaking of offspring who are still living under the authority of their parents. This means “children” will denote relationship rather than age).

When we think of the roles of children within the family more often than not we think of honoring the father and mother. This is good but what does it mean? In the Old Testament we know that honoring one’s parents was commanded by God. Rebellion against the parents is equated with dishonoring God. Disobedience is serious, serious business. Look at Exodus 21:17, “Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.” OR even more serious look at Deuteronomy 21:18-21,

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, 19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20 and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

Children, including teenagers are responsible to love, honor, and obey their parents to the point where if they disobey their mother or father they are disobeying and dishonoring the Lord himself. In the New Testament it is taken just as seriously. Disobeying parents is even seen as a sign of the end times that will bring the wrath of God (2 Tim. 3:2). One of the main discourses on the role of the child is found in Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

There are 3 things concerning the roles of children that we should see:
1. Children are to obey. Children are to obey both parents. If one wants to be obedient to Christ he must be obedient to his father and mother. Obedience means to honor, respect and fear (not the scary type but the respectful type) their parents. They are to obey their parents as to the Lord. No matter who one’s parents are God has placed them under the authority of those parents and expects them to be obeyed unless it leads to sin.
2. Children are to honor. To honor one’s parents includes obedience but also entails fear and respect. Honoring one’s parents is holding them in high regard. Children are to do this not because of who their parents are but because of who God is. For children living at home this means respectful obedience and for those living away from home it involves not only a continued respect but also a caring for their parents in old age.
3. The motivation of the son and daughter should be to be pleasing to the Lord. How we honor and obey our parents shows how much we love Jesus. If we are not seeking to love and honor our parents then we are not being pleasing to the Lord.

(Questions should naturally arise from this discussion. The goal of this study is help the students evaluate their attitudes toward their parents. Are they being respectful in the way they listen? Do they obey without argument? Help the students realize that their disrespect to their parents is disrespect to God.)

Week Fourteen (December 5) - Parenting

Wow. Being a parent is tough. One of these days, odds are that most of our students will become parents. Scary. Hopefully our students are being taught at home what Godly parents look like. Many of them are but sad to say many of them are not. This study will hopefully give them a birds eye view of what Godly parenting looks like so that they can have a good foundation of where to begin when they become a parent one day. Also hopefully this will stir in their hearts the desire to pray for their parents and love and encourage them.

The goal of parenting, just as in all of life, is to be faithful to God and glorify Him. Parents should be committed to Jesus, their spouse, their family and to their neighbor. So more than anything parents should strive to be a faithful instrument in God’s hands for actively bringing up a child according to biblical principles. Ultimately parenting is about Jesus Christ. The goal of parenting is not to force a child to become a Christian. This is something we cannot do. Children are born enemies of God and we pray by God’s grace they will become the children of God. Parents are to be faithful to teach their kids about God and trust that God will do as he pleases with them.

CHALLENGES. Parents face many challenges. Here are three big ones: First there is a challenge of keeping the right motivation. We should strive to please God not ourselves or others. Denying yourself is an big aspect of parenting. Second there is the challenge of keeping the right focus. Biblical parenting is not complicated. It is challenging, but understanding principles is not hard. Putting them into practice, however, can be like pulling teeth. One of the reasons it is hard to keep focused is that we love quick fixes and they are none in parenting. Parenting is a life-long process. The focus should be to be consistent and do not hurry the process. The third challenge is keeping the right balance. Parenting is not the sole focus of the Christian parents life. It is important, but should not be their whole world.

ROLES. There are five specific roles a parent takes on. The first role is that of disciplinarian or a nicer word might be trainer. Biblical discipline involves love and wisdom. The parent should not excessively control the child or provoke the child towards rebellion, but should lovingly correct and encourage a child. Discipline is more about correction and protection than it is about punishment. The second role is the role of teacher. The parent should seek to place in the child’s mind what is right and correct. Parents should teach by example, through life situations, answering and asking questions, and even formal teaching times. Parents should seek to teach the fear of God (who God is), they should seek to teach about sin and that all people are worshipers (Rom 1), they should seek to teach thinking of others before themselves, they should seek to teach good stewardship and they should seek to teach about relationships. The third role is parent as encourager. Parents should seek to encourage their kids not provoke them to anger by changing the rules all the time, humiliating them in public, not setting limits, not being involved, not listening, or being a hypocrite. Parents should encourage the kids and point to God when they encourage. The fourth role is parent as evangelist. The parent should understand that children are not born Christians. They should always being pointing to Jesus in all they do. The fifth role is parent as prayer warrior. Parents should pray for wisdom, a child’s salvation and protection, strength as a parent and for the child to have healthy relationships with others.

Parenting is difficult but the reward is great. God uses parenting to teach parents and change then to be more like Christ. Good parenting will always be rewarding because the parent knows they are pleasing the Lord.

Wives Who Are Like the Church - Week 12

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, his body.” This study is directed at both girls and guys. We want them both to see what a godly wife should look like so that the girl can strive to be one and the guy can know what to look for in a wife.

A wife is like the church in three ways:

She is an HONOROR (through loving submission). – Ephesians 5:24,33, Titus 2:5.

What submission is NOT – It is NOT putting the husband in the place of Christ. The husband is not to be worshipped. (Col. 1:18) Submission is NOT the same thing as giving up independent thought and becoming intellectually frozen. Submission is NOT giving up all efforts to influence her husband. (1 Pet. 3:1-2 The wife is to influence her husband through prayer, putting on the armor of God, having Godly friends, living in quietness, purity, fear of God, overcome evil with good, answer softly, speak truth in love, reprove her husband, be patient, live under God’s authority, respectful forms of communication.) Submission is NOT giving in to every demand of the husband. (Acts 4:18-19, Ex 1:17, A wife should refuse to submit to her husband when he forbids her going to church, Heb 10:25, forbids teaching children about Jesus, asks her to sin or violate her conscience.) Submission is NOT the same as being fearful or timid. Submission is NOT letter her gifts go unused. Submission is NOT believing her husband is infallible. Submission is NOT based on a wife’s inferiority to her husband (Gal 3:28).

Submission IS – “Submission IS a divine calling of the wife to honor, affirm, and nurture her husband’s leadership and to help carry it through according to her gifts.” Submission IS God’s way of attaining and maintaining function and order in the home. Submission is a way of life for all believers in some sense (Eph 6:1, 1 Pet. 5:5-6, Eph 6, Rom. 13, James 4:7, Heb. 13:17, Eph 5:22, 5:21. Submission IS reverence and dedication toward her husband that is based not on the husbands worthiness as a leader but because both have God-given roles and desire to be obedient to God.

She is a HELPER (through faithful companionship) – Genesis 2:18, Prov. 31:10-31. The wife finds fulfillment in using her gifts and abilities to help her husband. She finds fulfillment in helping her husband in his service for God (1 Cor. 11:7-9). She enjoys showing confidence in his decisions, shows thankfulness for his leadership, maintains a good spiritual life, and offers suggestions, advice, and corrections when needed in a loving way.

She is DEVOTED to care of the home – Titus 2:4-5, Prov. 1:8, Eph 6:1. The home is the sphere in which she fulfills her God-given responsibilities. Proverbs 31 Model says that a godly wife:
1. Makes the home a safe place – 10-31
2. She is trustworthy and dependable – 11-12
3. She is organized and productive – 13-14
4. She is enterprising – 16-19
5. She is a generous neighbor – 20
6. She is a teacher – 25-26
7. She is blessed as a mother – 27-31

Response
1. How is the wife like the Church?
2. What is your view on submission? What is the biblical view of submission?
3. What are some characteristics of a godly wife?

Husbands Who Are Like Christ - Week 11

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” This study is directed at both girls and guys. We want them both to see what a godly husband should look like so that the guy can strive to be one and the girl can know what to look for in a husband.

A Christ-like husband should be three things:

1. A Christ-like husband is a LOVER (Eph 5, John 3:16,John 10 1 Cor 13). Love is a selfless, enduring commitment of the will to care about and benefit another person by righteous, truthful and compassionate thoughts, words and actions. Love is doing what is most needed not what is most wanted.

He should love his wife like Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He initiates love (1 John 4:19) he is sacrificial even when it is inconvenient (Eph 5:25), he is humble (Phil 2:3-4) he is committed (Rom. 8:39), he is quick to forgive (Col 3:13), he helps her to be more like Christ (Eph 5:26-27).

How are these things seen in practical ways? Telling her verbally and non-verbally that you love her, praising her character generously, making time for her, listening to what she says (not mind reading), sharing every area of life, providing for her, lead in such a way to promote her spiritual growth, treat her as a priority.

2. A Christ-like husband is a LEARNER. (1 Peter 3:7). Our culture tells us that woman cannot be understood by men, but God says that not only can a husband understand his wife, but that he is commanded to understand her.

How can a husband understand his wife? Takes the time to get to know her and understand her likes, dislikes, hurts, pains, If God says to do it, you must prioritize it and do it. It takes effort to learn about your wife. You can study godly women in the Bible and study your wife continuously. Ask questions.

3. A Christ-like husband is a SERVANT-LEADER (Eph 5:23, 1 Cor. 11:3,7-9). The husband is divinely called to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.

What is Godly-leadership? It is NOT a dictatorship in which the husband makes his demands and expects the wife to serve him. It also is NOT the husband making all the decisions and it is NOT following the leadership of the wife. A godly husband leads his wife by following Christ’s example of leadership.

How is Godly leadership seen in the husband? A husband doesn’t drive his wife (Cowboy), but leads her (Shepherd). He is gentle and caring. He is humble (Phil 2:5-8), he follows after God’s will (John 4:34, 6:38) he is willing to serve her (Luke 22:26 and John 13:5ff).

Practically how is this seen? The husband should be concerned for his wife’s needs and desires, he knows where he is leading his wife and family, he sets an example of control (eating, spending $), he solves problems biblically, he instructs his wife not as a father but as a team leader, he encourages her in her God-given responsibilities as a wife, and he lives joyfully with her by being fun to live with and be around.

Week Ten: Divorce and Remarriage.

As we saw in Week Six God’s intention for marriage is that it be permanent. To build a marriage on biblical foundations a couple must be committed to the permanence of marriage within God’s design.

It is very important for adults and students to gain a biblical perspective on divorce. The way you see divorce will affect your attitude towards it.
Author and Counselor Jay Adams has written a helpful book called, “Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible.” Here are some of his initial thoughts on Divorce:

Contrary to some opinions, the concept of divorce is biblical. The Bible recognizes and regulates divorce. Certain provisions are made for it. This must be affirmed clearly without hesitation….Let us be clear about the fact that neither is the Bible silent on the subject of divorce, nor does it always, under all circumstances, for everyone, condemn divorce…It is altogether true that God hates divorce. But He neither hates all divorces in the same way nor hates every aspect of divorce. He hates what occasions every divorce. He hates the results that often flow to children and to injured parties of a divorce. And he hates divorces wrongly obtained on grounds that He has not sanctioned. But that leaves some things about divorce that He does not hate. He certainly does not condemn or hate divorce proceedings per se – i.e., as a process. Nor does He hate divorce when it is obtained according to the principles and regulations laid down in the Scriptures.

This is not a simple black and white issue. In fact, it is downright difficult.
Before we get into different views on Divorce and Remarriage let me say five things:
1. Though every divorce is caused by sin, not every divorce is sinful. Scripture allows for divorce in certain circumstances.
2. Divorce is never inevitable. Especially among Christians.
3. Divorce is never required.
4. Every effort should be made at reconciling with every person involved.
5. A wrongly obtained divorce is always sin. And because it is sin it is always forgivable.

Important Passages to Study
Matthew 19, 1 Corinthians 7:10-16.



We have seen that marriage is a Covenant. A divorce, then, is the repudiation (rejection) and legal breaking of that covenant (agreement) in which both parties promised to fulfill.

The word for divorce in the OT (Deut. 24, Isaiah 50:1, Jer. 3:8) means “to cut off”. The most prominent NT word, apoluo, means “to loose from, to put from, put away, send, release or dismiss”. The idea with the use of this word is that there is a broken relationship. However the context in each passage is always the key to getting to the meaning of a word.

The main problems today concerning divorce and remarriage center around two issues: sexual unfaithfulness and dissertion of an unbelieving spouse.

There are various views but this is the view that I think is biblical and that is held by most evangelical Christians today:

The only New Testament grounds for divorce are sexual sin or desertion by an unbeliever . The first is found in Jesus’ use of the Greek word porneia (Matt. 5:32; 19:9). This is a general term that encompasses sexual sin such as adultery , homosexuality , bestiality , and incest. When one partner violates the unity and intimacy of a marriage by sexual sin—and forsakes his or her covenant obligation—the faithful partner is placed in an extremely difficult situation. After all means are exhausted to bring the sinning partner to repentance, the Bible permits release for the faithful partner through divorce (Matt. 5:32; 1 Cor . 7:15). The second reason for permitting a divorce is in cases where an unbelieving mate does not desire to live with his or her believing spouse (1 Cor . 7:12-15). Because “God has called us to peace”
(v . 15), divorce is allowed and may be preferable in such situations. When an unbeliever desires to leave, trying to keep him or her in the marriage may only create greater tension and conflict. Also, if the unbeliever leaves the marital relationship permanently but is not willing to file for divorce, perhaps because of lifestyle, irresponsibility , or to avoid monetary obliga-
tions, then the believer is in an impossible situation of having legal and moral obligations that he or she cannot fulfill. Because “the brother or
sister is not under bondage in such cases” (1 Cor . 7:15) and is therefore no longer obligated to remain married, the believer may file for divorce without fearing the displeasure of God.

In this view, remarriage is permitted for the faithful partner only when the divorce was on biblical grounds. In fact, the purpose for a biblical divorce is to
make clear that the faithful partner is free to remarry, but only in the Lord (Rom. 7:1-3; 1Cor . 7:39).





There are three different views that are people have. Briefly they are as follows:
1. God allows for no divorce and no remarriage. Only in the matter of desertion can a believer get divorced, but they can not get remarried.
2. Divorce is allowable in some cases , but no remarriage in any case. In this view Divorce is allowed for dissertion and adultery, but remarriage is not allowed in either case.
3. Divorce and Remarriage is allowed in a wide variety of circumstances (this is held by a wide variety of liberal scholars.) Essentially this view says divorce and remarriage is ok under any and every circumstance.


How Am I Supposed to Teach This? What is the Purpose of this Study?

First, you do not have to teach everything written in this study. There is a lot of material (though I could add pages more) so please do not feel overwhelmed.

Second, we want to do everything we can to uphold a high view of marriage and encourage students to take it as seriously as Scripture takes it. Marriage is a covenant made and God takes breaking covenants very seriously.

Third, I will be teaching longer than usually on this topic. Your goal during your time with the students should be to help them see the importance of the issue and answer any questions they might have. Read the Scriptures with them. Stress God’s forgiveness and grace. Divorce has affected almost every family in our student ministry and we must emphasize God’s design of the permanence of marriage, the consequences of not following that design and also his grace and forgiveness in Christ for all involved.

Fourth, encourage students to think through these things and pray about them. Many of our students have many questions about divorce and remarriage. Encourage them to ask questions and seek the Scriptures. The Big Idea here is to make sure they know the Bible has something to say about marriages, divorces, and relationships. We want them to leave thinking about the importance of these issues.

Respond
1. What is divorce?
2. What are the 4 views on divorce and remarriage? Which is the majority view?
3. What are the main passages that speak to these issues? (1 Cor. 7, Rom. 7, Matt 5, Matthew 19.)
4. Why do people get divorced?
5. What can prevent divorce?

Please e-mail or call if you have any questions. These issues are not easy ones and I do not expect everyone to agree with everything said, however the Bible is clear that we must be discerning and wise with decisions in marriage and divorce. Study the material and email me at jeason@fbcmw.org if you have any questions.

Justin

Week Four: Leave and Cleave and the “One Flesh” Relationship

Making one’s marriage a priority is crucial in a marriage relationship. This seems like an obvious statement but to many the relationship takes a backseat to other priorities in life. In order to build a biblical marriage a couple must be committed to making their relationship with their spouse a priority over every other human relationship.

There are two steps to making the marriage relationship a priority:
Step 1 – God says children must leave their parents. Gen 2:24, Matt 19:5 and
Eph. 5:31.
Step 2 – God says the man must cleave to a wife (not “wife and parents”)

The result of these two steps is that the two will become one flesh.

So what does it mean to leave and cleave?
It does not mean: Breaking off all relations, bearing no responsibility (2 Tim 5:8), abandoning family, or moving far from your family.

What it does mean is:
• Leave behind a dependence on family for money.
• Leave behind your parents’ temporary God-given authority over you.
• Leave behind a way of life centered around your parents.
• Leave behind the dependence on parents approval.
• Leave behind parents as the people you confide in first.
• Leave behind family’s ideas about structure and functioning.
• Cleave to full responsibility for life and decisions.
• Cleave to a peer relationship with your parents.
• Cleave to viewing parents as advisors.
• Cleave to biblical standards for life and family living.
• Cleave to your mate’s opinions, insights, and concerns as most important.

This leaving and cleaving results in a “one flesh” relationship. The “one flesh” concept speaks of the comprehensive relationship found in Genesis 2:24c.

So what does “one flesh” mean?
It does not mean uniformity. There is no loss of identity or individuality. The “one flesh” relationship is kinda like an intertwined rope. There is a blending of two distinct strands but only one rope.
It does not mean you live with a clone. There will be many differences between two people and that is ok.

What does it mean?
•Unity – Comprehensive. All of life is shared together yet without each person having to be the same as the other.
•Partnership – Complete in all areas of life. Each person is of equal value and importance, but with different roles within the partnership.
•Sacrifice – There must be a commitment to sharing all of life together. Both people must be giving towards the other. Prefer the other above yourself.

Here is a list of some things that a husband and wife will share together:
1.Intellectual stuff – Talk about thoughts and ideas, share all that one is learning, (doesn’t have to be details), insights, opinions on things, issues of life
2.Desires and Feelings (Romans 12:15, 1 Cor. 12:25) – Joys, sorrows, grief and pains
3.Social – develop close relationships with same people, common recreational activities, interest in the other’s hobby, extending hospitality to others together.
4.Work – communicate about work related stuff, home projects, rejoice with the others accomplishments, pray about work.
5.Spiritual life (1 Peter 3:7 – praying together, reading Bible together, discuss spiritual problems, common convictions and views, local church involvement, serve Christ in common ministries, discuss what God is teaching you, raising children together, encourage the other, counseling one another about personal sins, confessing sins to one another, seeking and granting forgiveness.
6.Physical (Proverbs 5, 1 Cor. 7) – Concern for well-being, seek to understand and adapt to one another’s physical strengths and weaknesses, demonstrate affection in mutually satisfying ways, prefer the other person above yourself, dealing with sexual problems in a biblical way.
7.Goals (2 Cor. 5:9, Amos 3:2, Phil 2:2) – Being unified in goals, unity in desires regarding marriage relationship including family, spiritual growth, children, finances, occupation, overall future.
8.Difficulties and Trials – Proverbs 17:17, Ecc. 4:9-12, 1 Thes. 5:11, Count on each other in adversity, lift one another up, build up each other.

Response Questions
1. In your view, what does “leave and cleave” mean?
2. What does the “one flesh” relationship look like?
3. How does learning this stuff help your view on marriage?
4. Does learning this help you take marriage more seriously?
5. Is marriage mostly about romance and being in love or about something else? What is it all about?

God, Marriage, and Family

This coming week begins our study on God, Marriage and the Family. I am really excited about this study and feel that it will be really beneficial for everyone involved; teachers and students.

Our first week we are asking one question: Why are we studying about Marriage and the Family? I stated our main goal in the study but it is worth saying again: Our purpose is to clear away any confusion and unbiblical thinking on marriage and family relationships by teaching that God has told us in his Word how to think about these things.

Our students and we ourselves are being influenced by this worlds view on marriage, family, and everything connected to marriage and the family and we must guard against wrong beliefs and wrong thinking.

To accomplish our purpose we must love and seek God's view of these things found in His word. This is the only place to find real answerers for our tough questions. This study is not meant to be exhaustive but foundational in that we are laying down a foundation for the students to build on in the future.

More than anything we want students to love Jesus, love others, and be passionate about thinking biblically about all things. This is what we should be striving for ourselves and the direction we should be pointing the students.

For further study...
If you would like to do some additional study on your own to better prepare yourself for this series I am making a book called, God, Marriage, and Family by Andreas Kostenberger available to you. If you would like a free copy of this book please email me and it shall be yours. This book is one of the main books that I am using to help write this study.

Also here are some additional scripture references for this upcoming Sunday:
Main passage: Genesis 2:15-25, 2 Timothy 3:14-17, Ephesians 5:15-17, Romans 12:1-2.

This Sunday during my teaching time I will be discussing mainly two things:

The current crisis concerning marriage and the family, mainly what the world is teaching us and that we are seeking to clear away confusion and unbiblical thinking and...

the Bible is the standard we will use to help us think the right way about marriage and the family.

Perseverance in the Disciplines (Connect Study for August 17)

The Discipline in Focus
“We must discipline our lives, but we must do so all the year around, and not merely at stated periods. I must discipline myself at all times” Martyn Lloyd-Jones. Think about how busy you are. Showering, Dressing, eating, getting kids ready (if you have kids), work, school, errands, homework, yard work, chores, cooking, cleaning, sports, band, church, committees, clubs, paying bills, balancing the checkbook, hobbies, and other things. You are busy yet the past two months you have been introduced to all these disciplines that you are encouraged to do. Where do they fit in?

A Godly person is a busy person. These disciplines are not meant for those Christians who have lots of spare time. They are the God-given means by which busy believers become like Christ. God’s voice can best be heard through these disciplines and God can speak directly to us concerning our priorities. These disciplines can be the way God helps lighten our loads. However you will always be busy. Make sure you read this: Without practicing the Spiritual Disciplines we will not be Godly. We must persevere in these disciplines. Everything you do is for eternity. We must persevere.

The Holy Spirit helps us persevere in the disciplines. It is the role of the Holy Spirit to produce within us the desire and power for the disciplines that leads us to Godliness. So whether or not your natural personality inclines you toward being disciplined the presence of the Holy Spirit within you equips you with a spirit of self-discipline so that you can obey the command to discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness. Do not harden your hearts but respond to the Spirit’s promptings. Phil 1:6, 2 Tim 1:7, Gal. 5:23, Rom 8:26.

Fellowship with other believers helps us persevere in the disciplines. Change is a community project. Spiritual maturity includes growth in fellowship with other believers. Many of the disciplines cannot be practiced in isolation such as serving others, evangelism and public worship. We must share our personal lives with others and our spiritual lives with others. We must encourage each other in Christian living. 1 John 1:3, Eph 4:16, Heb 3:13.

There is a certain amount of fight and struggle a believer must have in order to persevere in the disciplines. Following Jesus is not easy. The spiritual disciplines will never be easy to do. There will always be difficulty. If you are waiting for it to get easier then do not hold your breath. Look up these verses that talk about our struggle. 1 Tim. 4:10, Col. 1:29, Gal 5:17, 1 Peter 5:8. We train hard to be Godly but we do not trust in our training to make us Godly. We trust in God to do the work of making us more like Christ. We continue to live and train by grace through faith in Jesus.

Scripture
All the previous verses mentioned and 2 Peter 1:6 and 1 Tim. 4:7-8.

Respond
1.How busy are you? What takes up a majority of your free time, if you have any?
2.What are you doing in your life right now that is so important that you consistently tell God, “I can’t pray or read your Word right now”?
3.What do you desire most for your life?
4.How does the Holy Spirit help us continue in the disciplines?
5.How can fellowship with other believers help us continue in the spiritual disciplines?
6.Are you a lazy believer or a warrior? Do you train yourself for godliness or are you a couch potato Christian?
7.Can you be Christ-like without practicing these disciplines? How or why not?
8.Where and when will you begin?

The Discipline in Focus (taken from The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment by Tim Challies)

Discernment is the skill of understanding and applying God’s word with the purpose of separating truth from error and right from wrong. When we practice discernment we are applying the truths of the Bible to our lives. We are attempting to understand the words of the Bible and trusting God’s Word to give clarity so we might see things as God sees them. Our goal in discernment is to do just this: to see things through God’s eyes through the Bible and thus to see things as they really are.
Discernment is a skill – It is not an inherent ability like breathing. It is a skill that must be practiced and improved. By God’s grace he enables and equips us to practice discernment with increasing accuracy and confidence.
Discernment is a skill of understanding – the Hebrew word most commonly translated as “discernment” is also translated as “understanding.” To discern well we must dedicate ourselves to studying, knowing, and understanding God and his Word.
Discernment is a skill of understanding and applying – Discernment is wisdom in action. We not only know but we also do. We apply the truth.
Discernment is a skill of understanding and applying God’s Word – God’s word refers to two aspects of God’s revelation: revelation of himself through the person of Jesus Christ and revelation of himself through speech, and in particular, the words that have been recorded in the Bible. God’s word is truth. In order to be discerning we must understand what is true about God and we do this by turning to His word. We must study it, read about it, and hear it taught. Discernment intersects the Christian life at every point and God’s word provides us with the needed discernment about every issue of life. God’s word shows us how to view all things.
Discernment is a skill of understanding and applying God’s Word with the purpose of separating- God’s Word is the standard we use to differentiate between what is true and what is false.
Discernment is a skill of understanding and applying God’s Word with the purpose of separating truth from error – The Bible makes it clear that doctrine is either true or false. When we speak of truth and error we speak of doctrine and theology – ways of thinking rightly and truly about God.
Discernment is a skill of understanding and applying God’s Word with the purpose of separating truth from error and right from wrong – Discernment is concerned not only with doctrine and theology but with the practical application of those disciplines to our lives. Discernment is a skill we need to live lives that are morally and ethically pleasing to God. We need to be discerning first in what we believe and then in what we do.

Spiritual Discernment is an ability graciously given to us by God and empowered by Him through the Holy Spirit where we exercise careful and deliberate effort to distinguish between what is true and what is false according to His Word.

Scripture
Proverbs 2:1-5, 2 Peter 1:3, Romans 12:9, 1 Cor. 2:14-15, Psalm 119:66, 104, 1 Thessalonians 5: 21-22. Acts 17:11.


The Practice of Discernment
When do we use the discipline of discernment? We use it everyday in all we hear and see. But there are some ways we can practice discernment. You could read a Christian book, listen to a sermon, listen to some Christian music or just listen to a teacher in your church (like a connect leader). How can we get started?

1. Verify – Write down a statement you would like to verify by the Bible such as, “Does the Bible teach that we are to forgive ourselves from past sin?”
2. Clarify – Write down your understanding of the issue. What do you think?
3. Pray – Admit your dependence on God in all matters of discernment and understanding the truth of Scripture.
4. Examine and Assess your Instinct – What was your first reaction (sometimes our first instincts can be correct)?
5. Examine and Assess you Conscience – While conscience is not infallible it can be valuable as Christians mature and their conscience is made increasingly tender through the work of the Holy Spirit. So for example we might say, “My conscience is telling me that self-forgiveness is not found in the Bible. I would be in violation of my conscience if I were to forgive myself in an attempt to be free from guilt for sins I’ve committed in the past.”
6. Test with Scripture – Gather a list of Scripture verses relevant to the subject at hand. Read the Bible and look for passages that talk about your question. Use good hermeneutics and exegesis to determine what the passage is saying. Study and meditate on God’s word.
7. Observe the Scripture – Write down a few words summarizing what you have learned from each passage. Compare and contrast all the relevant passages. If one is unclear compare it with another passage or translation.
8. Research and Summarize – See what others have said about these passages or this topic. Write down any clarifying notes.
9. Write you conclusion of the issue. So for example on the question of self-forgiveness we could write, “As I look into Scripture, it is clear that “forgive yourself” is not biblical language. There does not seem to be any place in Scripture where we are told to forgive ourselves, either in those words or even in concept. We are told to seek forgiveness from God and from others. We are told to extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us. It does not seem that we are ever told to forgive ourselves.”
10. Apply what you learned. Once we have determined that something is in error then we can seek to hold fast to the truth and apply it to our lives. So concerning what we learned on forgiveness we now understand that we should seek forgiveness from God and others and then go and do just that.

Key thought – With great humility, we test doctrine by prayer, instinct, conscience, Scripture, and the consensus of the church; remembering that Scripture is THE standard. We hold up a teaching to the light of God’s word and allow him to speak to us through the Bible, revealing what is true and false. We look for points of agreement and points of departure between the teaching we are testing and the truth of the Bible. When a doctrine is false, we flee from it and substitute instead what is good. When a doctrine is true and pure, we cling to it and rejoice.


Respond

1. What is your definition of discernment?
2. Discernment begins and ends with God. What does that mean?
3. Do you consider yourself a spiritually discerning person?
4. Why is it so important that we think rightly about God?
5. Why do we need to be discerning?
6. Can a person who knows right from wrong and good from evil but refuses to put this knowledge into practice be considered discerning? Why or Why not?
7. Do you see any proof of discernment in your life? What?
8. How can you practice discernment?

Connecting: study for August 3.

Connecting

The Discipline in Focus

Christian community exists when believers connect with each other in authentic and loving ways that encourage growth in Christ. When we discipline ourselves to connect with other believers by engaging in transparent relationships with those in our local church we are bringing glory and honor to our God and putting ourselves in a position to grow and help others grow in Christ.

In a culture where self-reliance, self-worth, self-esteem, and self-fulfillment are considered to be the most desirable personal characteristics, connecting with others in the local church, where mutual submission, accountability, and inter-dependence are the way of life, seems foreign and even counter-productive. We are told to "exhort one another daily . . . lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin" (Hebrews 3:13). That is why Paul said to the church at Rome that they, being "full of all goodness, filled with all knowledge," were to "admonish one another" (Romans 15:14). And that is why, in the familiar passage in Hebrews chapter 10, we are told to "consider one another in order to stir up love and good works." These passages all speak of the fellowship of the church as a preventative measure—a means of restraining one another from sin.

Never in the New Testament are Christians told to "tough it out" on their own. On the contrary, for the person who thinks he can do that, in 1 Corinthians chapter 10, Paul gives a number of Old Testament examples of failure—of sin that led to destruction. Then, in verses 11-12, he says that "all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition . . . . Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. "

We are not called to live the Christian life apart from the protection of the church. The fellowship of a group of committed believers is vital to our spiritual health and to our endurance in the faith. The church, in the midst of this "crooked and perverse generation, " is just as important for our survival as the ark was to Noah and his family; they simply would not have survived without it.

Believers are commanded to diligently care for one another—to "do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10). "Love one another," Jesus says, "as I have loved you," giving a command for Christians to love other Christians (John 13:34). The writer of Hebrews exhorts Christians to "consider one another in order to stir up love and good works" (Hebrews 10:24). Jesus said that the greatest commandment is love—to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself. "There is no other commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:30-31). When Paul referred to the commandment to love our neighbor, he concluded by saying, "Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law" (Romans 13:10). And when Jesus gave His disciples "a new commandment," it was that they should love one another as He loved them (John 13:34-35).

So it seems to us that our highest purpose—the one that encompasses and encourages all of the others—is the purpose of love. That is our supreme mission. And how are we to accomplish that mission? Are we supposed to be innovative? Should we strike out on our own initiative? Or do we have instructions to guide us in fulfilling our purpose? Have we been given a context in which love will be learned, taught, and lived according to God's design?

The New Testament speaks of the church as the context where biblical love should be given and experienced in its highest form. And most biblical references to the church are to the local church. When the New Testament writers speak of love, they use language that brings to mind unity among members and reliance upon one another. Nowhere do we find language that would encourage or affirm individuality.

You, as a Christian, were designed and created by God, not for a life of individuality and self-will, but to fill a niche in the spiritual building called the church. Connecting with other believers in our local church family is crucial to our growth in godliness. Community is our context for change.

Scripture
Hebrews 10:24-25, 1 Timothy 3:14-15, Colossians 3:15-16.

Getting Connected
We belong together, not apart. God is not a bachelor who lives alone. He is a holy community of three. And we glorify Him most when we are in a community connecting with other believers and being transformed into Christlikeness. Here are some practical things we can do to discipline ourselves to connect with other believers in a meaningful and God-centered way:
1. Commit to coming to Connect and Wow and looking to give and encourage others rather than looking to receive and be encouraged by others.
2. Choose a “one another” from the Bible (love one another, serve one another, pray for one another, forgive one another, see one another as more important than yourself etc…) and practice living one particular “one another” every day for a week.
3. Ask someone to tell you their story. Listen to them as deeply as you can. Get to know someone more than just their myspace or facebook description.
4. If you have something against another person go to that person and make peace with them. Meditate on Romans 12:18.
5. Get involved with your connect group. Call them and talk to them about life. Hang out with each other outside church.
6. Practice all the biblical “one anothers”.

Respond
1. What do you like and dislike about living life independently from others?
2. How do you respond to the words: dependent, independent, and interdependent?
3. What has your experience been like inside the Christian community?
4. How much importance do you place on meeting together with other believers?
5. Has there been a time in your life when the body of Christ (family of God) has encouraged you or gotten you through a difficult time?
6. What gifts to you think you bring to the body of Christ? Are you practicing those gifts at church?
7. On a scale of 1-10 how self-absorbed are you? How committed are you to serving others with no thought of how it benefits you?
8. How can you practice showing love to others this week? What can you do to stay connected to the body of Christ?
9. Is there a group of people who really knows you and cares about you? What is that like for you?
10. What kind of group relationships did Jesus value? Can you imagine Jesus spending his life on the cell phone and facebook, rushing to meetings, and never having time to hang out with people?
11. Who is holding you accountable in your growth in Christ? Who are you holding accountable?
12. How cliqueish are you? Are you the type to be closed off to others or open to love all people?
13. Who are the people that you trust? Who are the people that trust you? Who are you doing life with and are they pointing you towards Christ?

Study on Humility for Sunday July 27

The Discipline of Humility

Discipline in Focus

Thomas Brooks, an old Puritan pastor, once said that "The most holy men are always the most humble men." Isaiah 66:2 says, "This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word." Humility is something that causes God to look our direction. God is drawn to humility. C.J Mahaney says, "The person who is humble is the one who draws God's attention, and in this sense, drawing His attention means also attracting His grace -- His unmerited kindness." God gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).

What is Humility? Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in light of God's holiness and our sinfulness. Humility is rooted in God's holiness and our sinfulness. Our pursuit of seeing ourselves honestly in light of God's holiness and our sinfulness should be motivated by the fact that humility holds out the promise that God gives grace to the humble.

In order for us to understand humility it would help us to look at pride. Pride is one of the Christians greatest enemies. Pride is when sinful human beings aspire to the status and position of God and refuse to acknowledge their dependence upon Him. When we are being prideful we are fighting against God longing to be King; we are glorifying ourselves. God hates pride because it attempts to rob him of the glory he deserves. God opposes those who are proud (James 4:6). God is actively against those who are proud.

Humility is serving others for the glory of God.
Pride is serving ourselves for our own glory.

C.J. Mahaney says that in order to learn true humility we need more than Jesus' personal example of humble service. What we need is His death. Mark 10:45 says, "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many." By Jesus' great sacrifice he has made it possible for us to achieve and experience true greatness in God's eyes. Our serving others exists only to draw attention to the source of our love and service -- our crucified and risen Lord.

Jesus's death and resurrection has opened a way for sinners to have peace with God, and be transformed to live lives of humility. The one thing that will transform us and make us into the humble people that God wants us to be is not a meeting, church service, discipleship group, or mission trip. Those things are awesome and can help, but what really transforms us is a person: Jesus Christ. When we seek to know him humility will follow.

Scripture on Humility
James 4:6, Isaiah 66:2, Proverbs 8:13, 16:5, Mark 9:35 1 Peter 5:6-7, Phil. 2.


Practical Things You Can Do - It is important to be purposeful about fighting pride and learning humility.

1. Reflect and Meditate on Jesus Christ and the Cross - This is extremely important. All of us have inflated views of ourselves, but when we come to the cross and think about what Jesus did for us and why we shrink back to our true size. Carl Henry once asked, "How can anyone be arrogant when he stands beside the cross?"
2. Begin your day acknowledging your need for God - Try and intentionally let your first thought of the day be "God, I need you for everything today." Don't wait for pride to ambush you. Go on the offensive and attack sin by confessing your total dependence on God. Martyn-Lloyd Jones once said, "Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself." Speak the truth to yourself at the beginning of each day.
3. Begin your day expressing gratitude to God - An ungrateful person is a proud person.
4. Practice the Spiritual Disciplines - Bible Study, Prayer, Meditating, and Fasting. Practice these consistently.
5. Seize the Bus Ride - In other words, use the trip to school or work as time to memorize and meditate on Scripture. Don't allow your mind to wander. Focus it on Jesus.
6. Laugh often. Especially at yourself.
7. At the end of the day thank God for all the grace given to you and your family. Give all the glory and praise to God. He is great.

Respond
1. Do you understand your need for God? What are you trying to accomplish with your life? Are you aware of your need for God's grace to give your efforts lasting value?
2. What does God think about pride? What does he think about humility? (Read James 4:6)
3. Have you seen any good examples of humility lately? What happened?
4. Where would you be today if Christ had not died for you? How would your life be different?
5. Would you describe yourself as being humble? Why or Why not?
6. How was Jesus humble? (see Philippians 2).
7. If I crossed your path this afternoon would I find someone who is thankful for what they have been given or would I find someone who always complains?
8. If a first grader asked you what humility was what would you tell them? What would you tell them about pride?
9. How does pride show itself in your relationships? Is it hard for you to admit when your wrong?
10. On a scale from 1-10, how much do you really think you need God?
11. What are some things you can do this week to cultivate humility in your life?

Controlling the Tonuge: The Discipline of Godly Communication

A connect study schedule for the next six weeks is below this post

The Discipline in Focus
“A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.” Proverbs 18:7. The way we communicate to others has incredible power and can be helpful in gauging our growth in godliness. The Bible tells us that our words are small yet pack a powerful punch (James 3:5). Words can leave an impact on us long after a person is gone from our lives. And when we look at it the other way we see that the words we speak though seemingly small can have a big impact on others. No wonder James exhorts believers to pay close attention to what they say. Words have the ability to stay with us forever.

Controlling our tongue involves being actively aware of our words and being very intentional with the words we speak as well as the tone of voice we use in all communication. Practices include: speaking the truth in love, not speaking out of anger or irritability, using words to encourage and build up, not yelling or cursing at others, refusing to take part in gossip, slander or backstabbing, refusing to tell half-truths just to better your image, using verbal and body language in a godly way, and noticing how your speech affects others.

Good communication from God’s perspective is sending a message that is holy, purposeful, clear, and timely. Also, keep in mind that communication isn’t just words, but also the volume of your voice, tone of your voice, facial expressions, hand gestures, sighing or snorting, rolling your eyes, body posture, and eye contact.

Some Learning Basics
Here are 4 Basic Principles of Communication: (Ephesians 4:25-32)
1. Be Honest (25) – Always speak the truth graciously. Speak because people cannot read your minds. Clamming up is not an option. Speak truthfully by not exaggerating, evading the truth, or using half-truths. Speak the truth graciously. Be concerned with what you say, how you say it, how much you say it, and when you say it. Become a skilled listener.
2. Keep Current (26, 27) – Failure in attempting to solve each day’s problems quickly can be sin. Don’t carry them over to tomorrow if possible. (See Matt 6:34). If we fail to solve problems quickly we open the door to resentment, bitterness, or even hatred. It can also set the stage for spiritual discouragement.
3. Attack the Problem, Not the Person (29, 30) – Do not speak words that tear down or words that grieve the Holy Spirit. Use words that edify or build up, words that help reach a solution when there are problems.
4. Act, Don’t React (31, 32) – Our reactions say a lot about us. Attitudes of bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice must be put off. We must instead replace these attitudes with kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness.

In order to change the way we communicate we must be disciplined. Godly communication does not come naturally. As believers we need to be aware of wrong habits and patterns and confess those to God. We must repent and begin to develop the right biblical habits and patterns. This means actually practicing the new behavior patterns (speaking truth instead of half-truths) until a new habit is formed.

Scripture
James 3:2-10, Proverbs 10:19, 11:9, 12:18, 16:24, 18:7,21.

Respond
1. What is your communication style? (talk, talk , talk; think then talk; never talk or somewhere in the middle)
2. Do you recognize when you are controlling a conversation? Do you recognize when you are being impatient with others? Or defensive? Or critical?
3. How do you feel when others dominate the conversation or outshine you?
4. When and how are you most likely to speak a harsh or impatient word?
5. How do you speak about others when they are not around?
6. Are you good at giving praise, expressing thanks, or encouragement? If not what can you do to change?
7. What is a habit of speech that you want to break? (yelling, being too critical, lying or speaking half-truths, rolling your eyes, being sarcastic, complaining etc…) What is a new habit that can replace the old one? (for example, replacing the habit of complaining with thanksgiving or the habit of yelling with giving soft answers).
8. Looking back at the past week, would God be honored with the way you communicated to others? If not, what will you do about it?

Connect Schedule Next Six Weeks

Here is the Schedule for Connect through the next six weeks. We will start a new study on August 31.

July 20 - Controlling the Tongue
July 27 - Humility
August 3 - Connecting
August 10 - Discernment
August 17 - Perseverance in the Disciplines
August 24 - The Journey Celebration

Connect Study on Learning for July 13

Learning
The Discipline in Focus How teachable are you? One of the most ignored spiritual disciplines is the discipline of learning. Often we think once we are out of school then we can stop learning (finally!). But does this sound like someone who is training themselves for godliness?

In the Bible one of the characteristics of someone who is wise is a desire to learn. Proverbs 9:9 says, “Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will ad to his learning.” If we want to be like Jesus do we have to have college diplomas? No, but if we want to be like Jesus we must be open to learning and be actively seeking to be a disciple of Jesus Christ and a disciple is one who learns.

Proverbs 10:14 says, “Wise men store up knowledge.” Those who are wise are always seeking to learn. They understand that they do not know it all.

Proverbs 18:15 says, “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out.” Not only are wise people open to receiving knowledge, they seek it out.

Proverbs 23:12 says, “Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.” We must train ourselves to apply our hearts to seek wisdom and knowledge.

Mark 12:29-30, “Love the Lord your God with ….all your mind.” Learning is one way that we can love God.

Some Learning Basics
Learning is essential for growing to be like Christ - Romans 12:2 - Whitney states, “Growth in godliness involves a mental renewal that cannot happen without learning. And the alternative to transformation via learning is conformity to the world.” How can we become more like Christ if we are not learning through the Word what Christ is like? If we are not learning then we are not growing. Whitney says it well, “No one is changed by an unread Bible.”
Learning takes place mostly by discipline and not by accident - If you are not intentionally trying to learn all you will get is knowledge by accident and this will mostly be knowledge through TV, radio, magazine or the internet; not through God’s word. 1 Cor. 14:20 says, “Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.”

Respond
1. What new things have you learned about God or yourself in the past month?
2. What are some different ways of learning?
3. What does being teachable look like?
4. Do we have to be learning in order to be growing to be like Christ? Why or why not?
5. Outside of school, what are you learning these days?
6. This next week how can you start applying your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge?

Connect Study on Journaling

Journaling
The Discipline in Focus
Journaling is really simple. Just write. A journal is a book or notepad or whatever in which someone writes. Journals can be kept regularly or only in times of difficulty or transition.

Think about this for a second: “Without knowledge of self there is no knowledge of God.” Agree? Disagree? Whether you agree or not knowledge of ourselves and of our condition is valuable in helping arouse our desire to seek God. Journaling is a tool for reflecting on God’s presence, work, and guidance during every day life. Journaling is a great way to be alert to our own lives. It can help keep you focused and help you understand your heart better. It can be a way of reflecting on your thoughts about God. God is always at work in you and through you for the purpose of making you like Jesus for his own glory and journaling helps us evaluate that process.

In counseling, a counselor initially goes through a process called “data gathering” when meeting with someone who asks for counsel. This step is crucial because it helps the counselor understand the big picture of what is going on. Without knowledge of a person the counselor has no idea where to begin or what the difficulty is. Journaling is similar to data gathering in that it helps us to see the big picture. It can show us our thoughts on a certain subject or it can reveal potential sins in our lives that we need to repent from. Journaling can help us see why we have made a certain decision and reveal times when God has answered prayer. Taking the time to sit down and write can be invaluable to a person who desires to be like Christ.


The Value of Journaling
1. Journaling helps with self-understanding and evaluation - There are many places through out Scripture that tell us how we should think of ourselves (for example, Romans 12:3). Journaling will help you see how you see yourself. Writing down events throughout the day and your reactions to those events will pay huge dividends in allowing you to gain insight into how you view yourself and others.
2. Journaling helps in mediation - Sitting down with the purpose of meditating on the word of the Lord and having a pen in your hand to write down your thoughts and insights will help increase your awareness and expectation of hearing from God.
3. Journaling helps express our thoughts and feelings to the Lord - Psalm 62:8 says to pour out our hearts to God. Journaling is a way to express our feelings and thoughts. We can pour out what is overflowing in our hearts. Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks (and the hand writes).
4. Journaling helps us remember what God has done - How often we forget what God has done. Journaling will aid us to be like Asaph who said, “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds” (Psalm 77:11-12). Stephen Charnock once wrote, “How worthy it is to remember former benefits when we come to beg for new.”
5. Journaling helps us monitor goals and priorities - Keeping a journal can help keep before us things we want to do and focus on. Also helps us with the other spiritual disciplines and keep track of our progress.


Scripture to Reflect On
Practically all the psalms could be considered journals, Lamentations could be considered a journal of the prophet Jeremiah, Psalm 16:7, 25:4, Hab 2:1, Joshua 1:8, Psalm 119:18.

How to Keep a Journal
-Remember the purpose of journaling - for the purpose of godliness.
-Find something to write in (notebook, a journal, loose leaf paper, computer)
-Jump start your journaling by listing one verse or idea that stood out to you. Meditate on that for a few minutes and write down any thoughts.
-Consider writing down any events or situations and writing your actions, thoughts, feelings, and responses.
-Write down any prayer concerns, answered prayers, joys, sorrows, success, or failures.
-You can journal daily or weekly.
-Make a journal of photographs, articles, or drawings that you find.
-Don’t worry about spelling and grammar.

Respond
1. If you are living your life at full speed then what do you do to reflect on your life and your experiences?
2. How does writing help you focus or know what you think?
3. What is it like for you to read someone else’s published journal or diary? Notice I said published not stolen.
4. If you had kept a journal of your life up to this point do you think it would be valuable for you to read and learn from or would you think it was a waste of time?
5. How can writing in a journal help you become more like Christ? How can it help you know God better? Or know yourself better?

Be Still and Know

(If you are looking for the study for June 29 it is directly below this post)

-Dallas Willard in "The Spirit of the Disciplines" wrote, "Silence is frightening because it strips us as nothing else does, throwing us upon the stark realities of our life."

Psalm 46 says, "Be still and know that I am God." Even when you are doing Christian stuff, being busy can rob you of the very walk and communion with God that provides the kind of depth that, in the busyness, people are looking to you for.

I heard a pastor once say,

"Christians are the only people on the planet who, as they walk into frenzied situations, should have about them an aroma of Christ, a steadiness, and a strength that doesn't look nervous, frenzied, or overly fretful. People ought to detect that, though everyone else is nervous and running around, the Christian in the room seems to have roots sunk down into something solid. The wind is blowing, but the Christian isn't on the verge of uprooting.

It is really important that we keep our roots sunk deep and our branches spread high in the glory of God so that there is a peace and a steadiness about us as Christians."

Let us plan times of silence and solitude for the purpose of godliness this week.

Silence and Solitude

(Here is the study for this Sunday, June 29)

Silence and Solitude
The Discipline in Focus
The practice of being silent and of solitude involves scheduling enough uninterrupted time in a distraction-free environment that you experience isolation and are alone with God. This practice includes giving God time that is not in competition with social contact, noise and stimulation, taking a retreat, observing the Sabbath by abstaining from constant interaction with others, information and activities, addressing any lustful desire to be seen or heard by others or have the attention of others, and practicing other spiritual disciplines alone: study, prayer, journaling and etc….

Solitude and Silence is the spiritual discipline (for the purpose of godliness) that is a voluntary and temporary withdrawing to privacy for spiritual purposes. Being alone with God whether its for minutes or hours.

Purposes of Silence and Solitude and Scripture to Study
1. The practice of Silence and Solitude as exampled by Jesus – Matthew 4:1, Matthew 14:23, Mark 1:35, Luke 4:42. (To be like Jesus it is important to find time for silence and solitude.)
2. Helps us hear the voice of God better – 1 Kings 19:11-13, Galatians 1:17.
3. To express worship to God – Worship can consist of God-focused stillness. Habakkuk 2:20, Zephaniah 1:7. It is not just silence that we are seeking but it is silence before God.
4. To express faith in God – Psalm 62. The simple act of silence before God instead of a nervous wordiness can be a demonstration of faith in Him. Isaiah 30:15.
5. To seek the salvation of the Lord – A time of silence and solitude to seek the salvation of the Lord can refer either to a nonChristian seeking salvation from sin and guilt in Christ or to a believer seeking God’s salvation from certain circumstances. Lamentations 3:25-28. It is important not to minimize the importance of silence and solitude when one is considering the state of his soul.
6. To be physically and spiritually restored – Mark 6:31.
7. To regain a spiritual perspective – Silence and Solitude can help us gain a less worldly perspective. Luke 1:20.
8. To seek the will of God – Luke 6:12-13. God often makes his will clear in public places but there are times when He shows us in private.
9. To learn control of the tongue – Being silent for extended amounts of time can help us control our tongue in public. Proverbs 17:27-28. James 1:19. In a period of silence you may discern that many of the things you think you need to say you really don’t need to say. We learn to trust and rely on God’s control rather than trying to control the a situation through our words.

A Practical Response
1. If silence is new for you, begin with being silent for 10 minutes. Set a timer if you need to. Take the opportunity to think about Christ and enjoy being in God’s presence through Christ’s work on the cross.
2. Get away for times of silence – Find an empty room in the house or at the church.
3. Read a passage of Scripture and then stop and think about it. Spend time in private worship of the Creator.
4. Help someone else in your family or a close friend find time alone with God. Ask them to help you. Take on their responsibilities or chores for a specified amount of time so they can spend some time with the Lord and vice versa.



Respond
1. Besides sleeping, how much time this past week did you spend alone in silence (no music, tv, game system, other people)?
2. Does silence bother you? Do you get bored quick? Why?
3. In your words what would be the purpose of spending time in silence and solitude?
4. Why do you think people resist being alone?
5. What tends to pop into your mind when you are alone?
6. When have you felt most comfortable being alone? Uncomfortable?
7. Do you think God values time with you in silence? Explain.