Study for January 4 - Homosexuality

God, Marriage and the Family
Homosexuality
In the last few months we have been studying God’s plan for marriage and the family. Hopefully our students have been seeing God’s design and things are a little more clear. One of the most serious distortions of this plan is homosexuality. This is one of many sexual sins that occurred in the Old and New Testament and continues today. It is a hotly debated issue and one that should be thought about very carefully. Questions like “Do you believe God condemns homosexuals?” or “Do you believe homosexuality is a sin?” are hot topics.
The question that we should really be asking is “what is marriage?” This is a question we have been asking all year and hopefully it is one you can answer. Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman. We see this in Genesis 2. Sexuality is intended to be within a marriage. Marriage is a picture of the gospel, a picture of unity. All sex outside of a heterosexual marriage is sin. This includes fornication (sex before marriage) adultery, and pornography.
Though the sin of homosexuality is no greater than sex before marriage or any other sexual sin we will take a special look at homosexuality because of its tendency to be justified by many who claim to be believers.

Homosexuality when compared to the biblical pattern of marriage and intimacy falls way short in several ways (This discussion can be found in “God, Marriage, and the Family” by Andreas Kostenberger).

First – It is at odds with God’s design for marriage at a foundational level. God’s design is man and woman. Genesis 2.

Second – It is at odds with the complementary nature of marriage found in the bible. Marriage is designed so that the husband and wife are equal but with different roles. Roles that complement each other. Same-sex partners cannot participate in this aspect of the design.

Third – It is at odds with its duty to procreate. One of the purposes of marriage is procreation. Having kids. This is undeniably part of God’s plan within marriage as seen in Genesis 1:28.

Three main sections of Scripture deal with homosexuality explicitly – Gen. 18-19, Lev. 18 and 20 and Paul deals with it in his letters to the Romans, Corinthians and Timothy. Study Romans 1:18-28, 1 Cor. 6:9-10, 1 Tim. 1:9-10.

In reading all this one will find Scripture to be consistent. Homosexuality is sin and an offense to God. But just like adultery and “fooling around with your girlfriend or boyfriend, this is a sin that can be forgiven. Homosexuality is not the unpardonable sin. Anyone struggling with this sin should repent and seek forgiveness in Jesus Christ.

1. In your opinion, is homosexuality a sin? Why or why not?

2. Is the sin of homosexuality worse than a girlfriend and boyfriend sleeping together before marriage? Why or why not?
3. How should you respond to a friend struggling with homosexuality?

4. How is homosexuality at odds or against God’s design for marriage?

I realize there is much more that we could teach concerning homosexuality. Feel free to go as deep as you want. I have given you just the basic teaching. If the students have any tough questions let me or Jason know.

Connect Study on Dating

Hey Everyone, Here is the study for this coming week. Joshua Smith wrote the study and will be teaching it as well. If you have any questions his contact info is at the end of the study. Great job, Joshua!

Dating 101

This subject can become quite ambiguous at times, but we must remember that even though the Bible does not specifically endorse dating, we can certainly draw principles from God’s word because it is very clear on marriage, chastity, purity, the condition of the heart, and attraction to the opposite gender.

What is Dating?
Dating is a relatively new idea. It has only become popular in our culture in approximately the past 100 years. It certainly was not the way that the Bible conducted “pre-marriage”. We will go into if that is a good or bad thing later on in the study.
Book definition of dating: an appointment, especially with a person of the opposite sex; a person of the opposite sex with whom an appointment is made “to date” up to the present.
Pop culture definition: hanging out with a girl or guy with the intent either initially or eventually leading to a romantic relationship between them. Most often it is viewed as an activity as opposed to a commitment. One is to experiment with the opposite gender to see what he or she likes and to become exposed to as many people as possible to ensure that one knows what he or she wants. Only the immediate future is in view.
A biblical view of dating: A relationship between a guy and a girl that initially begins as a friendship. As the boy and girl seek God first above all things (Matt. 6:33), He will either confirm or deny the relationship as in His will. If it is, the relationship moves on to a non-physical, romantic relationship. With the end of dating being marriage between the two partners. The couple seeks a dating partner that, at the present time, they can envision marrying. Each of them seeks a partner that is compatible with him or her based on biblical principles (which we will discuss later).

Should Christians date?
The Bible gives us freedom on certain things to allow us to apply cultural aspects to our walk with Christ. For example, nowhere in the Bible does it advocate that a church building must have a steeple on top of the building. Yet, the majority of church buildings in the European affected Christianity have steeples. Now, if one were to go to a more remote location, such as in central Africa, and look at a Christian church building it is usually just solid concrete. Four walls of concrete surround a dirt floor with a vegetation roof. Are our African brothers and sisters wrong because they do this? Absolutely not! The Bible does not give us any explicit or implicit principles on which to build a church building, all we have to do is make sure we follow implicit and explicit principles in the architecture of the building.
The same thought process must be applied to dating. Dating is a cultural invention; it does not come from the Bible as noted above. But, that does not mean that we are not allowed to do it. We may participate in it if we follow the explicit and implicit principles of scripture and the view of marriage. Christians are to follow these principles because after all, we live for the next world, not this one (Heb. 11:13-16).

Purpose of Christian dating:
Many kids in our student ministry have a distorted view of what dating should be like. Many who are dating should not be because they are not emotionally or spiritually ready. Some who are ready to date are fearful to do so because they believe it is unbiblical. I want us to make absolutely clear that dating is a wonderful thing to do, IF one follows biblical principles and is prepared to do so.
As opposed to what popular culture says dating is, dating for the believer in Christ is for the sole purpose of finding a partner for marriage. Why?
1. God designed us and even before The Fall, to be with the opposite gender: Ge. 2:18
a. And it is a good thing to be married: Pr. 18:22
2. God does not take playing with others heart lightly (like popular culture encourages to do in a dating relationship) Pro. 4:23. Dating is not an activity it is a commitment, although not a binding one.

Who should Christians date?
This is something that scripture is very clear:
Believers together with un-believers; I don’t think so. Believers should not marry (and therefore not date, since the purpose of dating is finding a spouse) other believers. Notice this passage:
2 Corinthians 6:11-17 Our mouth has spoken freely to you, O Corinthians, our heart is opened wide. 12 You are not restrained by us, but you are restrained in your own affections. 13 Now in a like exchange-- I speak as to children-- open wide to us also.

Paul is indicating that even though some of the Corinthians had done wrong to them, he still loved them or had their “heart opened wide”. Likewise Paul urges his fellow believers to listen to the important command that Paul was about to pronounce to them.

14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? 16 Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, "I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE. 17 "Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE," says the Lord. "AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN; And I will welcome you.

Notice how Paul contrasts believers and non-believers as, “light and darkness”. If one asks why this should be, here is a proper response; “Believers in the Lord Jesus Christ have given their lives to him. No longer are they Lord of their lives, but Christ is Lord of their lives. No longer does the believer do what he or she wants to do, but what Christ wants. In contrast, the un-believer does not follow Christ or what Christ wants for their life. And in marriage, you become one flesh, guiding your marriage toward one end. If not, then it will be dysfunctional, lonely, and/or selfish. How can the light desire and move toward the ultimate Light if the partner who has become one flesh with them is desiring and moving towards more darkness? Paul puts it simply, “Nothing in common!”

Missionary Dating:
The idea that a believer can date an un-believer in order that they can draw them to Christ in hope that the un-believer will become a Christian.
Too many times have I had students (and have thought it myself a time or two) this very thing. Here is a simple response.
Remember the purpose of dating, is to eventually find a spouse for marriage. IT IS NOT to bring someone to Christ. For they should already be in Christ, for what does light have in common with the darkness? This does not mean that Christians should never share the gospel with people of the opposite gender. What it does mean is that Christians are playing with the un-believers heart (which God does not take likely; Pr. 4:23) because:
Believers intent:
Share Jesus, draw closer to them relationally, then pursue them deeper once they are a believer
Un-believers intent:
Pursue them in a deep relationship.

It is almost deceit and unfair to the un-believer because of the different motives behind each of their hearts. Plus, if the believer is trying to pull the unsaved to the light, the unbeliever will pull them toward darkness.
A disclaimer: I realize that missionary dating is not impossible. In fact, I know a few people who dated an un-believer (although they weren’t supposed to for what does light have in common with darkness?) and the un-believer came to Christ. BUT, this is an example of how God can use evil for good (Ge 50:20). For example, since God used the evil acts of the men who crucified Christ to be a part of the action that would save sinners; does this justify someone who wants to go and kill someone else? Absolutely not! We are to strive to walk in a manner that Jesus walked (1 Jn 5:6), using good for good. Not evil for good, that is impossible! (Except, of course for God.)

“But they said they were believers!”
Just because someone states with their mouth that they are believers, does not make them a believer. One must be diligent and look for fruits of the Spirit, before even considering dating. Fruits of the Spirit or evidence that a person has been saved:
1. Repentance from sin: Ps. 32:5; 2Co 7:10; 1Jn 1:8-10
2. Repeatedly praying: Lk 18:1; Col 4:2; 1Ti 2:1-4
3. Separation from the World: 1Jn 2:14-15; Jas 4:4-5
4. Obedient Living: 1Jn 2:3-5; Jn 15:14;
5. Desire for God’s Word: 1Pe 2:1-3
A disclaimer: I completely realize that once someone becomes a believer, they will not immediately display all these characteristics. For God gradually breaks our sinful flesh to sanctify us to Christ’s image. So, we should also consider if they are a mature believer; because to be “equally yoked” does not only mean to be together with believers, but believers in the same spiritual maturity as you. To most of us, that means that we need to pursue Jesus even more.

How should Christians date?

Fellowship: the unity and boding that exists between Christians by virtue of the fact that they share together in the grace of the gospel. Gathering together for a common pursue to either, worship, read/study the Scriptures, or enjoy each others company. This (as described below) is the foundation (that too many kids miss) that dating is supposed to launch off from.
A disclaimer: Now, fellowship is NOT for the purpose of dating. But Christian dating will naturally come out of friendship and fellowship. For example, how will one know if a claimed Christian is mature in their walk unless they speak with them about things of the Scriptures? Some of this “investigation” comes naturally from fellowship.

Believers are in a family, a body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:12). We are to first and foremost see each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. This is going to be a radical difference for most of the kids in our student ministry. Thinking of the opposite gender as always a potential date is very unhealthy. Doing this destroys the image of the family and replaces it with an overly emphasized romantic perception. This is something that we really need to emphasize with our students.
Influences from pop-culture have clouded our view. Notice that television and movies usually emphasize the opposite sex in a solely romantic or erotic fashion. When the Bible speaks of believers, it speaks of us as a family (reference to us as children Ro 8:16-17a). Seeing your spiritual brother or sister in a solely romantic and erotic way is not only unbiblical but it is, well, disgusting!
A disclaimer: this does not however mean that seeing other believers as potential date partners is a completely bad thing. God made man for woman and woman for man. What needs to be emphasized is that seeing the opposite gender as family is primary while dating them is secondary. They are first a brother/sister, second a date.

Friendship: As noted in the biblical definition of dating, it is to start off as friendship. We are in one in Christ and have been made brothers and sisters in Christ. We first must view a potential dating partner in this way:
1. Bros and Sisses: Ro. 8:15-17; 1Co 12:12-13;
2. We need to fellowship (defined above): Heb. 10:23-25;

Parents: This is going to be a very un-popular topic with students. Parents need to be involved with their children’s friendship and date life. Some of the fault can very possibly be the parents disinterest in the child’s affairs. But, some of it is the child’s secrecy of their affairs toward their parents. Mom and Dad are so much more wiser than the students on matters like this. This is what we need to emphasize, opening up and asking questions to their parents about dating and the opposite gender.
A disclaimer: some of our students do not have Christian parents (like myself). So asking their parents could give them wrong advice on what the purpose of dating is, how one is to date, etc. In these cases, we are to make ourselves available to the student so that they may ask questions. I have a gentleman that I regularly ask about issues relating to this and similar topics. These kids need to have the same if their parents are not believers.

Environment: too often the “dating environment” is completely secluded and sometimes romantic. Kids are missing the point. Seclusion should at least not come until the relationship is very mature and even then the couple will have to decide for themselves boundaries. The reason for this is so much temptation (either of the mind or the body) comes in seclusion. One may put the most godly girl and boy in a room together and if they are alone and are sinners, something may happen! It is important to emphasize to the students that dating is not a constant romantic partnership.
Now, please understand, I do not think that Christians should have their first date at a family gathering with people all around. That is so entirely awkward most of the time. But, possibly at a public place like a coffee shop. Or ice skating, I do not know, you pick. The point is: do not seclude yourself!

What more? This is really the time that you may, as the group leader, use as a base to further discuss how a Christian should date. As Justin and I have discussed, there are some many things we could stress at this point that it would take up fifteen pages! Also, there are different ways to date: prearranged marriages, courting, Christian dating, and secular dating, of which some have been discussed earlier.
If you have any questions please talk to Justin or I on Sunday morning or call me or e-mail me. All you have more wisdom than me anyway, I only a little boy! But, if I can help I would be glad to.

1. How should Christians view the opposite gender first? What is second? Why?
2. Who should Christians date? Why?
- What if someone “says” they are a Christian, are we go for launch then?
3. Why should we avoid seclusive environments when we are dating?
4. Is missionary dating (and all concepts that relate) okay to do? I mean it is evangelism, correct?

Thanks guys (and girls),

Joshua

E-mail: joshuatylersmith87@gmail.com
Cell: 502-921-3350

Stewardship - Week 17

It is very important as Christians to have a proper view of money and possessions and manage then Biblically. Stewardship is more than just money but it does include it. What is stewardship? Stewardship is Managing, maintaining, and making the most of all God has entrusted to us for the furtherance of His interests, as we look forward to future reward. Money is neither righteous nor evil – it is morally neutral. However, it is an accurate measure of our morality. Money itself does not corrupt. It is never the essential problem. Money is simply an indicator of the real problem which is the sinful heart. How you handle money reveals much about what you love. Besides money there are many things that we have been given that we are stewards over.

Scripture passages to study: Psalm 24:1, 1 Cor. 4:2, 3:13-14, 1 Tim. 5:8, Pro. 27:23-24.

As we see from Psalm 24, God owns all things. Anything that we have has been given to us. God says that every steward should be faithful in handling of what he has been given.

We see from 1 Cor. 3 that faithfulness will be rewarded. God says that He will reward faithfulness when we reach heaven and these rewards will be determined by our level of faithfulness to His commands.

So the question becomes: What has God entrusted to YOU? Wife, Children, family, brothers and sisters in Christ, money, possessions, time, talents and abilities, physical body, spiritual gifts, ministry. God has given you these things to enjoy, but only as you use them to accomplish his purposes. All these things are God’s on loan to you. They have been given to you primarily for God’s glory and for the good of others, not self.

Name some things that can hold us back from being faithful stewards of what God has given us?
Pride – not being dependent on God’s help, not teachable, “I’m ok, I don’t need help.”
Selfishness – caring more about your own desires than about God’s desires and others’ needs. I
dolatry – Sacrificing faithfulness to get what you want at all costs.
Laziness – not working at faithfulness, only taking the easy road, procrastination, sleep too much.
Irresponsibility – not dependable, going back on your word, wasteful, being late, bad priorities.
Man pleasing – keeping the peace at all costs, not doing what God wants because someone else might not like it.

What are some steps we can take towards faithfulness? Ephesians 4:24
We must first begin to take stewardship as seriously as God does. We must not follow our selfish desires but battle them.
Repentance – Find an area that God has entrusted to you and search God’s word in this area.
Study – Study and meditate daily on Scripture that pertains to this area. Ps. 119:9-11.
Prayer – Pray daily that God will help you change in this area. Ps. 12:1-2
Renewing your mind – Determine what thinking you need to change. Rom. 12:2.
Planning – Make a specific plan as to how you are going to follow God’s principles.
Accountability – Obtain accountability from a brother or sister in Christ if you are not improving.

The key to handling all these issues is trusting God. Especially concerning money if we see a need we should pray and do all we can to provide for our families, being wise with money and trusting God for the future. We need to learn to be content, thankful and generous with what we have. Remember when giving to God and to others the question is not “How much should I give?” but “How much should I keep?”

Role of Children (December 14)

(Disclaimer: The Bible never uses the word teenager to describe offspring ranging in ages of 13-18. So when we speak of children we will be speaking of offspring who are still living under the authority of their parents. This means “children” will denote relationship rather than age).

When we think of the roles of children within the family more often than not we think of honoring the father and mother. This is good but what does it mean? In the Old Testament we know that honoring one’s parents was commanded by God. Rebellion against the parents is equated with dishonoring God. Disobedience is serious, serious business. Look at Exodus 21:17, “Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.” OR even more serious look at Deuteronomy 21:18-21,

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, 19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20 and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

Children, including teenagers are responsible to love, honor, and obey their parents to the point where if they disobey their mother or father they are disobeying and dishonoring the Lord himself. In the New Testament it is taken just as seriously. Disobeying parents is even seen as a sign of the end times that will bring the wrath of God (2 Tim. 3:2). One of the main discourses on the role of the child is found in Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

There are 3 things concerning the roles of children that we should see:
1. Children are to obey. Children are to obey both parents. If one wants to be obedient to Christ he must be obedient to his father and mother. Obedience means to honor, respect and fear (not the scary type but the respectful type) their parents. They are to obey their parents as to the Lord. No matter who one’s parents are God has placed them under the authority of those parents and expects them to be obeyed unless it leads to sin.
2. Children are to honor. To honor one’s parents includes obedience but also entails fear and respect. Honoring one’s parents is holding them in high regard. Children are to do this not because of who their parents are but because of who God is. For children living at home this means respectful obedience and for those living away from home it involves not only a continued respect but also a caring for their parents in old age.
3. The motivation of the son and daughter should be to be pleasing to the Lord. How we honor and obey our parents shows how much we love Jesus. If we are not seeking to love and honor our parents then we are not being pleasing to the Lord.

(Questions should naturally arise from this discussion. The goal of this study is help the students evaluate their attitudes toward their parents. Are they being respectful in the way they listen? Do they obey without argument? Help the students realize that their disrespect to their parents is disrespect to God.)

Week Fourteen (December 5) - Parenting

Wow. Being a parent is tough. One of these days, odds are that most of our students will become parents. Scary. Hopefully our students are being taught at home what Godly parents look like. Many of them are but sad to say many of them are not. This study will hopefully give them a birds eye view of what Godly parenting looks like so that they can have a good foundation of where to begin when they become a parent one day. Also hopefully this will stir in their hearts the desire to pray for their parents and love and encourage them.

The goal of parenting, just as in all of life, is to be faithful to God and glorify Him. Parents should be committed to Jesus, their spouse, their family and to their neighbor. So more than anything parents should strive to be a faithful instrument in God’s hands for actively bringing up a child according to biblical principles. Ultimately parenting is about Jesus Christ. The goal of parenting is not to force a child to become a Christian. This is something we cannot do. Children are born enemies of God and we pray by God’s grace they will become the children of God. Parents are to be faithful to teach their kids about God and trust that God will do as he pleases with them.

CHALLENGES. Parents face many challenges. Here are three big ones: First there is a challenge of keeping the right motivation. We should strive to please God not ourselves or others. Denying yourself is an big aspect of parenting. Second there is the challenge of keeping the right focus. Biblical parenting is not complicated. It is challenging, but understanding principles is not hard. Putting them into practice, however, can be like pulling teeth. One of the reasons it is hard to keep focused is that we love quick fixes and they are none in parenting. Parenting is a life-long process. The focus should be to be consistent and do not hurry the process. The third challenge is keeping the right balance. Parenting is not the sole focus of the Christian parents life. It is important, but should not be their whole world.

ROLES. There are five specific roles a parent takes on. The first role is that of disciplinarian or a nicer word might be trainer. Biblical discipline involves love and wisdom. The parent should not excessively control the child or provoke the child towards rebellion, but should lovingly correct and encourage a child. Discipline is more about correction and protection than it is about punishment. The second role is the role of teacher. The parent should seek to place in the child’s mind what is right and correct. Parents should teach by example, through life situations, answering and asking questions, and even formal teaching times. Parents should seek to teach the fear of God (who God is), they should seek to teach about sin and that all people are worshipers (Rom 1), they should seek to teach thinking of others before themselves, they should seek to teach good stewardship and they should seek to teach about relationships. The third role is parent as encourager. Parents should seek to encourage their kids not provoke them to anger by changing the rules all the time, humiliating them in public, not setting limits, not being involved, not listening, or being a hypocrite. Parents should encourage the kids and point to God when they encourage. The fourth role is parent as evangelist. The parent should understand that children are not born Christians. They should always being pointing to Jesus in all they do. The fifth role is parent as prayer warrior. Parents should pray for wisdom, a child’s salvation and protection, strength as a parent and for the child to have healthy relationships with others.

Parenting is difficult but the reward is great. God uses parenting to teach parents and change then to be more like Christ. Good parenting will always be rewarding because the parent knows they are pleasing the Lord.